Never Judge a Book By Its Cover: Sex and Society
One of the more remarkable discoveries about human sexuality is that both men and women adjust their mating efforts to what is available in their social environment.
I was stretched out in front of my laptop multitasking while I listened to my significant other discuss his day to day activities. We hadn’t been going out that long, three months to be exact; we were just in the honeymoon stage where topics like ‘where do you see yourself 10 years from now’ could make or break the relationship.
He was rather quiet. I absorbed the static of the phone reception and thought of numerous questionnaires to keep the conversation flowing. I could hear him shutting off his engine and exiting his vehicle. I could picture him doing that in our very own driveway someday. As a woman in my mid-twenties, I saw every potential mate as someone I could potentially settle down with. After all, I’ve been told that having children after thirty would be difficult and the beginning of your twenties were supposed to be full of adventure so I settled on my mid-twenties to be the point of decision making. Then the conversation steered elsewhere.
In all honesty, I couldn’t remember why or how it came to this point but living in an over sexualized society I can only say curiosity was the key or maybe I have a downright dirty mind. I just remember laying in between the sheets, resting my head on my comfortable pillow with the speaker of my phone to my left ear. I asked my male mate:
“Tell the truth. Have you ever had a threesome?”
Now, I don’t know why the question began with falsehood. Asking to “tell the truth” was like expecting a bold face lie from the start.
He hesitated.
“Uhhh…”
Oh god. This was going to be a lie.
“Not Technically.”
“What does that mean?” I asked with more curiosity. One doesn’t simply ‘not technically’ sleep with two women at once. I pictured him a room with the two of the skankest girls I could conjure up, reflecting them lying next to him, touching parts I hadn’t seen before and wondered if my mate’s past indiscretions would be the breaking point for the both of us.
“Well there was four us in the room….”
And then I stopped him. Details of a night of blissful pleasure between four people filled my mind and my imagination went wild. I felt like he was going to describe to me the inner workings of a porno or better yet the inner workings of a past of life that I didn’t want any part of.
“You mean there were three girls with you?” I concluded.
“No. It was like me and my homeboy….”
“Oh God.” This time I displayed my frustrations out loud.
“It’s best you hear it now then later,” he remarked as if he was a noble clergyman.
At that point, my mind went to how I was raised. I wasn’t brought up in an overly religious home but I couldn’t dare fathom the thought of bringing home to mom and dad a potential mate that had more than his fair share of sexual encounters. I was taught sex without commitment was asking to never get married; the ring was always the goal.
He continued to describe the details of that night. She, who stayed nameless, performed oral sex on his friend while he had sex with her. And he concluded with:
“I had sex one time with this one girl and she didn’t even know my first name…”
I asked him to pause again while I washed the mental pictures from my mind.
Earlier, I had made the mistake of asking him the number of sexual partners he had…the man needed a calculator.
“Say no more, kind sir,” I shook my head.
“What? These are all things that I’ve done in my past,” he responded.
I let the silence of static finish my thoughts on the matter.
I felt I was being more than judgmental. How could sexual rendezvous be “things that I’ve done in my past”?
What is the new standard for an appropriate amount of acts or number of people we could do said acts with? After all, I’ve learned that great sex comes from good, solid relationships.
I thought back to when I used to browse through my favorite bookstore. I used to pick up the newest, freshest paperback or hardcover novel that would tickle my fancy, excited that no one had ever brushed against its new pages. Then, there were days where I looked through for the most used, beat up old book that has more than just one story to tell…and that my friends is how sex and our society works.
…just what type of book do you want to end up with?
Sex Sells and I Bought It Half Off
I tried to cross my legs trying to persuade the place in between my thighs from surpassing my need to finish these photo copies. I put a stack of papers in the copier and tried desperately to avoid thinking dirty thoughts.
The workplace is no place to masturbate or thinking about masturbating.
“Hey, can you make me an extra copy of…” he stopped my train of thought. It was one of the attorneys at the law firm that I had taken a temporary job position at.
I stretched out my arms like I wasn’t in a big daze and crossed my legs watching him stand there in his suit and gravy stained red and silver tie.
“Are you okay,” he frowned at me as if he caught me text messaging or daydreaming while on the clock.
I rearranged my shirt and cleared my throat.
I’m a lady right? I couldn’t be thinking or shouldn’t be thinking about sex or hands touching down my thigh….
He snapped his fingers in my face and handed me a stack of papers. He was partially heavy set, short and stumpy and he wore big focal glasses that made his eyes seem larger than normal.
“Can you scan these to me,” he remarked and I nodded my head in compliance.
Sheesh…I guess a girl can’t masturbate on paid time.
I walked into his office and handed him the stack of freshly scanned documents and quickly retreated back to my cluttered desk. I stared at the cute memo I printed that showed a cartoon character finding ways to look busy at work. I felt embarrassed for being preoccupied earlier in the copy room. Quintessentially, as a lady born in this society, I wanted to seek long lasting championship without going through church and state, I had to be selective with my partners and that gets tougher when take sex out of the equation. Needless to say we’ve created a dating lifestyle where cliff notes versions of each other are exchanged for sexual favors. I guess we are just coffee stained, highlighted over, and used up stories of each other.
Ideals of sex are found everywhere maybe not in copy rooms but sex is openly discussed in public, in our media, and can be accessed virtually anywhere. The sexual revolution, a time of culture acceptance of sexual experimentation, homosexuality, polygamy, and eroticism, has provoked our culture to have the insatiable appetite and unhealthy obsession with sex. The coming of the sexual revolution divulged ideals of sex and shattered the mutual respect between the genders and contributed to the increase in the divorce rate especially that of the United States. Today, sex can be found with or without commitment.
When the clock struck 5:30 pm, I grabbed my keys and left work. Maybe I’ll stop by Barnes & Nobles and cuddle up with a new novel.
On second thought, a new book is too expensive, and I may not want to spend the extra time, patience, money, and effort that comes with searching for a new book. I’ll be there for hours trying to find the perfect one that hasn’t been read through already, binding falling all out and pages bent because someone thought that Barnes & Nobles means library.
I change my mind. Maybe tonight I’ll stop by that old book store. My favorite bookstore was one located near a post office. It had dark brown mahogany doors and a giant worm with a pair of red reading glasses near the front entrance. I’m sure there’s an old book that’s getting dusty on the shelf and less expensive too, and because it doesn’t cost so much to own there will no real great loss. Tonight I’ll rescue it; after all it’s never too late to change the fate of a novel just begging for someone to give it another chance to change their lives.
Yup, that’s the plan!
…Wait a minute
…this book sounds a lot like a man. Forget it, I’ll just read my kindle.